Operation Get the Guy of My Dreams and Defeat Stupid Hoe. Day 1
Do you sometimes think the universe just doesn't want you to find love? 'Cause that's how I feel right now.
After two whole years of ogling the boy of my dreams from afar I finally decided to get some big hairy balls and just go for it! I saw Rafe at the caferteria today and cut in line to get next to him.
"Hi," I squeaked.
He looked up and smiled, saying "Hey" back.
I must admit I was nervous as fuck and after a long pause I said, "Nice day, right?"
NICE DAY?!NICE FUUUKIN DAYYYYY?!
OMG I'm such a loser! I might as well kill myself now 'cause I'll die alone with lines like that.
But Rafe didn't, like, weird out or anything, he just laughed and said. "Yeah, I heard on the news today's gonna be sunny. Can't say the same for New Orleans, though."
And I was, like, "It's never sunny there. I think it's cursed."
He said, "Um...it's because of Hurricane Isaac?"
"Oh, yeah, that...the, um, storm...thing." (What? I don't stay up to date on what's going on in the world of weather)
Thankfully, Rafe didn't think I was dumb, instead he said something that made my heart sing:
"You're pretty funny, you know that?"
HE THINKS I'M FUNNY! I'd much rather he say I'm the most gorgeous girl on the planet but I'll take it.
At that point I was dancing and doing flips on cloud nine so now was my chance. The moment of truth was about to happen; I was going to ask my guy to the Dance and then he'll say yes and he'll marry me and we'll live in a mansion by the lake. (What? Leave me to my fantasies, it's all I have)
"Hey," I said, moving my tray down the line, "I was kinda wondering if--"
"Raphael, can I talk to you," I heard someone say. And when I turned to see who it was, low and be-fucking-hold, it's the BITCH FROM HELL!
She grabbed Rafe by his arm, gave me a snide look and waltzed off with him.
"Bye," he said, waving.
And I watched as my guy left with Sarah Marshall.
I'm hoping she didn't do what I think she did but I'll sneak around tomorrow and find out.
I guess day one was a bust for me (sigh...) but tomorrow is a new day. She might have won this round but that just gave me fuel to try even harder. Oh yeah, baby, I'm totally AMPED UP!
Day One Standings
Stupid Hoe: 1 Lux: 0
Hmmm. Methinks you should enlist some help from girlfriends to head off this girl moving in on your guy.
ReplyDeleteI wish, but I really don't have a lot of friends. I have one who I talk to but we're not that close. I'm very shy and it's hard for me to make friends. That's why I spend my time reading and playing video games on my phone when I have the time.
ReplyDeleteI guess you think I'm pathetic, huh?